Creating Myself

Carolina Haven Photography

Carolina Haven Photography

Dear Queen, 

Have you ever heard the quote, "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself" - by Bernard Shaw?  I posted this quote on my Instagram the other day because when I saw this quote it spoke to me and summed up my hiatus from social media. I know you maybe wondering why did I just drop and leave social media for two months. Well in all transparency I was drowning. I was stressed and overwhelmed inside and I couldn't deal with looking scrolling through my timeline and see everyone happy and the craziness that was going on in the world. I needed to handle some things personally and regroup and come back refreshed. I told my best friend, that taken a break from social media was the best thing I could ever do. Yes, I would check it every once in awhile when someone would ask me if I would look at something or asked if I had I seen a certain video. Other than those reasons, I stayed offline. I honestly, could have gone even longer but I came back because I missed the joy of networking online and the relationships that I created through my brand. God, has a way of bringing out the best in people when we are quiet and just listen ( Psalm 46:10). I learned how He speaks to me, to embrace my gift of connection, and how to be mindful of the present. 

For years I have struggled to answer the question: How do I know God is speaking to me? I would ask my parents, my nana, church members etc. They all had different answers but the one thing they said is " you will just know Ashlee'." Of course for me, that was like a sarcastic "really?" moment. So when I went away on social media I purchased the DaySpring 100 Days of bible promises. Each morning I took 5-10 minutes to read what the devotional was and then write a prayer in the open space. Each day I read & said a prayer I felt closer to God. Fast forward even further, and I started having more personal talks with my wife mentor and  new manager who has become a good friend of mine. They both constantly challenge me even further which causes me to be uncomfortable at times ( remember I told you that was my theme for this year). The more I talk to God alone, I am learning that he speaks to me through people. HOWEVER, you have to be careful as to which people you listen to. I have started to learn who my people are cause they always speak life to me and encourage me to do things that I wouldn't have just done on my own without the push. They help me to raise my bar of faith higher and higher. In doing so, I conquered a test that I have struggled with for over 4 years. I finally passed the NCLEX and received my LPN license. Will I practice at the bedside? Probably not. Will I go on and get my RN? MMM... most likely. I proved to myself that I could do it and I wasn't crazy. I just had to do things in God's timing and not my own. For me, that is a breakthrough!


The second thing that I learned is to embrace my gift of connection. I don't know what it is about me, but I have a gift of speaking to people and inspiring them to be better. I can be talking to a young person or talking to a person who is older than me and speak life to them ( what I have been told, I swear, lol ). Growing up, I have always been told, " Girl, you have an old soul!" It use to bother me cause I thought they were telling me that I was boring and old at such a young age. Taking a look at my connections and the connections that I have fostered it gives me warm feeling inside and there's no shame here. It gives me JOY. Being a connector is the whole purpose of A Simply Blessed Wife at the core. To connect you with resources, experiences and relationships with other women that you can relate to and grow from. Because of my gift of connection I now have a mentor who is has been an entrepreneur for over 20 years, apart of a network where women cheer you on, I have a wife mentor, a business accountability partner and friends from several places.  I am going to continue making connections and sharing them with the world. When you do things for God, it's not about you. 

The third biggest thing for me that I learned is to how to be mindful. I had heard about this term during a counseling session that I had awhile back but I never really practiced it. Going through this hiatus I had nothing but time to practice it. I had told myself that I was going to work on my business in the background, but you know what, not really. I focused on making memories with my husband. I focused on learning my new position and getting to know my coworkers. I enjoyed my time doing a breast cancer event with my Mixxedfit sisters. I smiled with joy and said yes to being a matron of honor for my best friend that is getting married next year. I participated in my church's health fair. I gave my full attention to the things that mattered to me most. I started to live. 


As women we take on so much and not once bat an eye when it is time to take care of ourselves.  So what can you expect from me going forward now that I am back online? I plan to continue practicing these three things and creating myself to be the woman God sees me to be. I may not always get it right but I will put my best foot forward. As my year of being uncomfortable coming to a close in two months, I am finding my voice and gaining my confidence to walk in my truth. I thank Sheena Steward of loveatanystage.com for being an example of what that looks like. If you haven't read any of her truth Tuesday's you're missing a treat! 

As always it my prayer that I have said something that adds value to your life and you can continue to move towards living a life of faith + fulfillment as a Queen of your household! 


Many Blessings,

Ashlee’